Navigating Grief and Finding Support After Loss
- Hannah Darnell
- Oct 6
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 31
There are many ways people fulfill their voids of loss. Some cling to a dry, empty long-necked bottle. Some, the chance of potion inhalants like angel dust, an ultimate high, or a deep, lonely low. Others may find a reprieve in planning for a more definitive, literal escape.
Some people choose to over- or underindulge in basic needs for survival, such as eating, drinking, and sleeping.
Please understand that grieving is not a means to an end, but rather a natural process of change, redirection, and a catalyst for growth.
For example, pulling weeds and tares out of a garden promotes rejuvenation.
Weeds (activated by God) grow to engulf our beautiful blooms; after the vine and branches become weakest, our Creator then prunes, exposes, and nourishes us by removing thorns and crab grass, so we become more like Him, completing His mission for us.
When the weeds infiltrate our structures, bodies, minds, and souls, until the last leaf or bud falls to the ground, then our Holy Gardener rescues and repurposes our lives —His resurrected crop.
After much pain, rain, and fog, picking and cutting, our God-given roots descend deeper and deeper into His being.
Fallen, despised, exposed, and intensely real; grief and loss, numbness that foreshadows a stronger, lighter, mightier Lord, who appears and heals our bitter brokenness, filling our every void, until our cups run over.
Loss is inevitable in our fallen world, but how can we cope with it?
Normal grief may or may not need to be medically treated, depending on other symptoms you experience. According to the National Cancer Institute, most people grieving a loved one will heal after about 1-2 years. Sometimes your age can also affect how you perceive grief and loss. The NCI claims that children who have lost a parent or sibling have a more difficult time coping than those who are bereaved as adults. Scientists are experimenting with new ways to prevent complicated grief in those who are balancing between normal and complicated grief.
A group of 245 health aides of late-stage cancer patients monitored signs and symptoms of grief and how that relates to other factors like gender, support systems, personality traits, medical histories, and socioeconomic status.
The objective results depended a lot on the patient’s personality; those who had low self-worth had more difficulty processing bereavement. The results also proved that attending church regularly may have helped support patients throughout the grieving process. Results favored widows over widowers as having less severity of grieving symptoms. Social behavior analysts believe this is because women have more social support systems than men.
Another research study evaluated CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy, and proved it can alleviate negative thoughts and behaviors. Outcomes from the study revealed that patients who completed CBT had fewer symptoms of grief than those who only received counseling.
What are healthful tips to cope with the Grieving Process?
Try not to isolate yourself; consider joining a local church or support group, either online or in person. Call or text 988
As much as possible, get back to your routine and set alarms to awaken you not too late in the day.
Seek advice from your doctor about a psychotherapy referral immediately after the crisis. This step is crucial; you’re holding yourself accountable to get help. This doesn’t mean you don’t have it all together, or that you are spiritually weak, or inept to handle grief. It’s quite the opposite; you show courage by reaching out after a horrific loss.
Suppose you know you have a personality consistent with low self-worth, have had trouble navigating emotions, or have a history of previous mental health illness? In that case, I recommend meeting with a provider in person and scheduling outpatient therapy appointments. An hour a week talking to someone about your grief can give you a new perspective and help you organize your chaotic thoughts and emotions that you may be repressing.
Everyone has or will experience grief at some point in life. Please prepare for it in advance. Perform an inventory of your mental well-being and ask yourself, “Would I be able to cope with the loss of a family member or close friend?” Think of your children who may have to experience grief if you ever get a terminal illness. Who is their support system?
This topic is so heavy, but grieving a loss is much heavier. Of course, we can’t ever prepare or know when to expect loss; it will inevitably hit us at some point during our lives, unfortunately.
The key is to anticipate when it does arrive, like a sudden tornado: how would you react and cope? Who will help you and your family?
You will have already answered these questions and have a plan in place to help you begin the grieving process.
Take a moment now to review your mental health insurance coverage. Is there a local provider you can contact who is in network? What’s the address of a local church or phone number you could call and connect with someone for immediate assistance?
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